Am I a swinger or not?

Am I a swinger or not?

                 

In our previous post we discussed very basic types of swingers. Many people will find that while they may fit loosely into one of those categories, “swinging” isn’t really what they identify with. there is no “correct” path since there is no “correct” destination. It does seem however that many people pass through swinging or use it a a means or dating pool for what they are actually looking for… which may or may not even include sex.
We’ll look briefly at my own personal non-comprehensive list of some of the other major subcultures that may play in the lifestyle sandbox.
Swingers: Yes,yes, we’ve discussed swingers, but we’re going to chat about them a bit more. “Swinger” has no true form. There are plenty of people that identify with being a swinger or being part of the lifestyle that still don’t mesh together on multiple levels… remember that for each of these categories there are people that fall between them as well as identify with multiple styles, types or subcultures.

• Hit-it and Quit-it Swingers – These people typically don’t want any kind of connection. You may or may not see them around often, but they typically don’t want to cultivate relationships, have feelings or get to close to anyone other than their partner or partners.
• Social Swingers – These swingers typically enjoy friendships and/or relationships of varying degrees. I know many that rarely if ever even engage sexually with others. Like any swinger they may enjoy gatherings, social events, voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc.. but they typically like getting to know those they spend time with. Sex is usually, but not always, on the table. Sometime they just enjoy the energy of being around a more open crowd.
• Utopian Swingers – We’ll talk more about these swingers in our next discussion. Utopian swingers are similar to social swingers but often let their relationships evolve beyond friendships. They typically identify as “Polyamorous”.

And some of the similar and overlapping but slightly different groups:

• Girl on girl – These swingers are often married, though single females are often welcome as well. Men do not typically engage with the women during events. It is fairly female dominated (as is much of swinging surprisingly). Men may or may not be allowed to watch and the primary focus is women getting to play with other women.
• BSDM – I am not very well educated in BDSM, but am aware it has HUGE following with diverse communities. Wikipedia gives a very good summary that my own words could not do justice:
  “BDSM represents a continuum of practices and expressions, both erotic and non-erotic, involving restraint, sensory stimulation, role-playing, and a variety of interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who don’t consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community and/or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle, and some debate has begun over whether a BDSM or kink sexual identity also constitutes a form of sexual orientation.
  
  
  

  

  The term BDSM is believed to have been coined as a compound initialism in the 1990s to combine communities and practices that had a significant amount of crossover – bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM is currently used as a catch-all phrase to includes a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures which may or may not fit well into the original three intended categories. With an ethos of “your kink is OK!” many BDSM communities welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.”
  Needless to say, it has many communities and disciplines and often overlaps with the swinging world.

• Gay/lesbian/Trans – Oddly these groups do not often overlap with swingers. Theories abound as to why this is the case. Hypocrisy by both sides of these supposed “open and accepting” groups seems to be a major factor. Many individuals in both groups agree we are all on the same “team” per se. Never the less the communities don’t seem to mesh much.
• And last (for this list) but not least are the utopian swingers. A topic I think we will save until next time.

Please remember none of these lists or breakdowns could ever be complete. If you don’t see what you identify as or want, trust me, it’s out there even if it’s not discussed here.