Click Here To Hookup Tonight

 

The Utah lifestyle party scene!

The Utah lifestyle party scene!

 

So what is the scene like in Utah? I dare say almost anyone that has experienced the lifestyle in Utah will agree that it is fantastic. There are so many great events, multiple party planners and event hosts, and of course a huge group of amazing people to enjoy it all with.
I know for the time we’ve been involved our wants and preferences have changed drastically. There is something here for everyone. There are large parties, small parties, house parties, meet and greets, private parties, club events, and on and on. You truly can find something for you regardless of which freak flag you’re flying.
Please don’t judge the lifestyle or your interest by any single event. Of course some parties may not be for you. If it’s too out of your comfort zone you’re always welcome to walk away. Otherwise stay, mingle, make your own fun. Then try and find an event that’s more your pace or style. You’ll be surprised how many things are actually going on during any given weekend once you start getting involved.
Bottom line is jump in, ask around, have fun. You’re probably missing something great right now!!!

 

Am I a swinger or not?

Am I a swinger or not?

                 

In our previous post we discussed very basic types of swingers. Many people will find that while they may fit loosely into one of those categories, “swinging” isn’t really what they identify with. there is no “correct” path since there is no “correct” destination. It does seem however that many people pass through swinging or use it a a means or dating pool for what they are actually looking for… which may or may not even include sex.
We’ll look briefly at my own personal non-comprehensive list of some of the other major subcultures that may play in the lifestyle sandbox.
Swingers: Yes,yes, we’ve discussed swingers, but we’re going to chat about them a bit more. “Swinger” has no true form. There are plenty of people that identify with being a swinger or being part of the lifestyle that still don’t mesh together on multiple levels… remember that for each of these categories there are people that fall between them as well as identify with multiple styles, types or subcultures.

• Hit-it and Quit-it Swingers – These people typically don’t want any kind of connection. You may or may not see them around often, but they typically don’t want to cultivate relationships, have feelings or get to close to anyone other than their partner or partners.
• Social Swingers – These swingers typically enjoy friendships and/or relationships of varying degrees. I know many that rarely if ever even engage sexually with others. Like any swinger they may enjoy gatherings, social events, voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc.. but they typically like getting to know those they spend time with. Sex is usually, but not always, on the table. Sometime they just enjoy the energy of being around a more open crowd.
• Utopian Swingers – We’ll talk more about these swingers in our next discussion. Utopian swingers are similar to social swingers but often let their relationships evolve beyond friendships. They typically identify as “Polyamorous”.

And some of the similar and overlapping but slightly different groups:

• Girl on girl – These swingers are often married, though single females are often welcome as well. Men do not typically engage with the women during events. It is fairly female dominated (as is much of swinging surprisingly). Men may or may not be allowed to watch and the primary focus is women getting to play with other women.
• BSDM – I am not very well educated in BDSM, but am aware it has HUGE following with diverse communities. Wikipedia gives a very good summary that my own words could not do justice:
  “BDSM represents a continuum of practices and expressions, both erotic and non-erotic, involving restraint, sensory stimulation, role-playing, and a variety of interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who don’t consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community and/or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience. Interest in BDSM can range from one-time experimentation to a lifestyle, and some debate has begun over whether a BDSM or kink sexual identity also constitutes a form of sexual orientation.
  
  
  

  

  The term BDSM is believed to have been coined as a compound initialism in the 1990s to combine communities and practices that had a significant amount of crossover – bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadomasochism or sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM is currently used as a catch-all phrase to includes a wide range of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures which may or may not fit well into the original three intended categories. With an ethos of “your kink is OK!” many BDSM communities welcome anyone with a non-normative streak who identifies with the community; this may include cross-dressers, extreme body mod enthusiasts, animal players, latex or rubber aficionados, and others.”
  Needless to say, it has many communities and disciplines and often overlaps with the swinging world.

• Gay/lesbian/Trans – Oddly these groups do not often overlap with swingers. Theories abound as to why this is the case. Hypocrisy by both sides of these supposed “open and accepting” groups seems to be a major factor. Many individuals in both groups agree we are all on the same “team” per se. Never the less the communities don’t seem to mesh much.
• And last (for this list) but not least are the utopian swingers. A topic I think we will save until next time.

Please remember none of these lists or breakdowns could ever be complete. If you don’t see what you identify as or want, trust me, it’s out there even if it’s not discussed here.

What kind of swinger are you?

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Meeting New People

So, you’re going to meet someone new? Nervous? Excited? Stressed? All of the above and then some? Meeting new people is one of my very favorite aspects of the lifestyle. Throughout all the various incarnations of my personal lifestyle journey I have always loved meeting and getting to know new people. Sure you can meet people other ways, I love that too. But there is just something about sitting down with another couple, or single or whoever and getting to know them on such an interesting level so quickly.
What makes for a good first meeting?:
-One of the simple things you can do is prepare. You may or may not look at swinging as “dating”, but either way you should prepare as if you were going on a date. Being clean, done up and presentable is something that is nearly universally appreciated. Shower, landscape, and do whatever else you think may be appropriate. Bringing protection and anything else you may need for the evening is always a good idea. Playing with your new friends may or may not be on the table, but it’s always good to over-prepare.
-Something I have learned that helps immensely is to have no expectations. There’s nothing wrong with having hopes or being excited, but I would highly recommend going into any new interactions with a very open mind and low to no expectations.  Nights can pan out in so many different ways. Sometimes people flake. Sometimes they just aren’t what you hoped. If you go into an evening with no expectations, a nice evening chatting with interesting people that does not end in sex could be fantastic. If you have expectations of sex, and evening chatting with interesting people could be a huge let down. Trust me, the sex will happen. If at first you don’t succeed… well you know. Keep expectaions low in order to improve your overall adventure.
-Another recommendation would be to limit your intake of alcohol or any other mind, mood or energy altering drug. (As a side note illegal drugs are very often frowned upon in the swinger community. I’m not your mom, just use good judgement.) You may want to loosen up a bit, which I understand, but don’t over do it. You want to be yourself. You don’t want to be overly silly, aggressive or drunk. I’m sure you would like to remember your evening and you definitely want to make sure you’re being safe. Also if you have to be drunk to swing, maybe you’re not really in a place right now that this is for you.
-Last but not least: Be in a good place. If you and your significant other just had a spat, it might be best to think about rescheduling the meeting. If that isn’t ideal at least spend some time re-centering  yourself and making sure you are both looking forward to the encounter.
Remember, it’s all about fun and enhancing your life.
Do a little research, a little introspection and a little preparation and then…
have the best time you can imagine!!!
Learn from your experiences.
Rinse and REPEAT!!!